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نكت إنجليزية !!.
الكاتب الموضوع
AnacondA غير متصل
عضو مشارك
**

المشاركات : 22
الإنتساب : Mar 2005
مشاركات : #1
نكت إنجليزية !!.



نكت إنجليزية !!.


Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.




Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter?




Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.




Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much.




Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?




Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.




Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?




Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take
This train to New Delhi.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.



Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and
The game went into extra time.




Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.





A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a
Commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have
A scotch and soda."




Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in
Two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.




An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
'How long has what been going on?' said the man.




Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.




1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! This is no time for superstitions.




Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.




Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the
Field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.




Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.




Little Susie came running into the house after school one day,
Shouting,

"Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.
"Come in to the living room and tell me about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and
20 in science."


AnacondA
09-13-2006 06:40 PM
زيارة موقع العضو عرض جميع مشاركات هذا العضو إقتباس هذه الرسالة في الرد
-ليلى- غير متصل
عضو رائد
*****

المشاركات : 3,167
الإنتساب : Feb 2005
مشاركات : #2
نكت إنجليزية !!.
AnacondA(f)

> > Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. > >You order what you want, then when you see
what the other person has, you > >wish you had ordered that. >

*********

> Man: Is there any way for long >life? > Dr: Get married. > Man: Will it help? > Dr: No, but the thought of >long life will never come. > >

*********
> Why do couples hold hands during >their wedding? > It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before >the fight > begins! > >

*********
> Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, >what should we do? > Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes. > > >

*********
> It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. > >It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered > > >

*********
> It is difficult to understand GOD . He makes such beautiful
>things as >women and then he turns them into Wives > >

*********


> If u r >married please ignore this MSG, > For everyone else: Happy Independence Day > > >

*********
> Galfriends r like chocolates, > Taste gud anytime. > > >Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently. > Wife r like Dal >RICE, eaten when there`s no choice > >

*********
> Man receives telegram: >Wife deadshould be buried or cremated? > Man: Don't take any chances. Burn >the body and bury the ash. > >

*********
> Prospective husband: Do you have >a book called 'Man, The Master of >Women'? > Salesgirl: The fiction >department is on the other side, sir. > >

*********
> Q: Why dogs don't >marry? > A: Because they are already leading a dog's life! > >

*********
> >There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he > >would go through hell for her. > They got married and now he is going >thru hell. > >

*********
> Fact of life: One woman brings you into this >world crying & the other >ensures you continue to do so for the rest of >your life! > >
*********
> Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a >second woman? > > A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for >the same offence! > > >

05-17-2007 10:40 PM
عرض جميع مشاركات هذا العضو إقتباس هذه الرسالة في الرد
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